When someone you know dies, it's hard for you because you know that they are gone and you will never see them again here on Earth. They won't be there to bring you joy, offer you advice, help you when you're down, or celebrate your victories. True, this is hard to accept. I think what hits me even more, though, is the sight of the people around me suffering and grieving over this death. This might be because I'm a people person, or, more likely, it's because I realize that the person who has died is at peace, and I do not see them anymore. The people who love them, however, are always around for me to witness their pain. I am not angry or frustrated or annoyed by this. It is something that just happens. This does not mean I do not feel bad about the person who is deceased, but I am just constantly reminded of my pain by the people mourning around me. And yes, I am one of those people who will put my emotions aside to check in with everyone first before I check in with myself. I tend to live in this idea that I can somehow always find a way to help them. This could be classified as "saving" them. But truly "saving" these loved ones would mean taking all of their pain away, and bringing the person back to life. This is impossible. Anais Nin is right, we can only love people, since we have no way to completely wash away their pain. We can love them by being a good listener. We can love them through hugs and offering a shoulder to cry on. We can love them by sharing supportive and sympathetic words. And most of all, we can love them by just being there. My friend once told me "you can't save everyone." It was meant as a joke at the time, I took it hard, but now I realize how correct she was. I can't save everyone. But I can love everyone.
You can, too.
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