"Music is what feeling sounds like." ~ Unknown

You might know by now that I use writing as a primary emotional outlet. What you may not know is that much of my writing is based either on emotion, or music. I am a firm believer that music is the best way to articulate feelings, since we can't put a melody into our pen ink. As a change from the norm, I decided to share with you a poem I wrote based off the song Emphasis by Sleeping at Last. (Feel free to offer criticism. I am always looking to improve.)

Questions in a Box
Spill the wine over the puzzle
that only the smallest and most delicate hands
can put together,
so slowly,
so gently.
Someone,
perhaps, the aunt, the mother, or the cousin
watching over him
turns over the hourglass onto the worn
19th century books
just to watch how long it takes for the wine to soil
the brand new puzzle,
the one with lines
dancing in loops on its surface
that weave through the basket and forest
printed on the delicate
cardboard pieces,
all 500 of them.
Maybe the sides of the pieces
that are meant to marry in our hands
and be together forever
hold the answers
as to why the world still turns.
Maybe the ink coloring the basket and
forest will bleed and show the true colors
of destruction
by tears
and by loss.
An older,
rougher, experienced hand
deliberately brushes the innocent skin
of the child
sitting on the floor
amidst hundreds of answers,
and its touch carries the unspoken message
to be gentle with the pieces
because there are no replacements,
no other ways to break the truth.
Two pieces stick,
not meant to be together,
two answers that contradict each other,
are pulled apart again,
put back together,
and pulled apart in a definite decision
that they are not meant to be.
Only in the dimming hours of
the warm, rainy afternoon,
is the soul mate piece of cardboard
found for the piece that was
broken away earlier.

Here is the link to the video of the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuLfT54jS8A

"You cannot save people. You can only love them." ~ Anais Nin

When someone you know dies, it's hard for you because you know that they are gone and you will never see them again here on Earth. They won't be there to bring you joy, offer you advice, help you when you're down, or celebrate your victories. True, this is hard to accept. I think what hits me even more, though, is the sight of the people around me suffering and grieving over this death. This might be because I'm a people person, or, more likely, it's because I realize that the person who has died is at peace, and I do not see them anymore. The people who love them, however, are always around for me to witness their pain. I am not angry or frustrated or annoyed by this. It is something that just happens. This does not mean I do not feel bad about the person who is deceased, but I am just constantly reminded of my pain by the people mourning around me. And yes, I am one of those people who will put my emotions aside to check in with everyone first before I check in with myself. I tend to live in this idea that I can somehow always find a way to help them. This could be classified as "saving" them. But truly "saving" these loved ones would mean taking all of their pain away, and bringing the person back to life. This is impossible. Anais Nin is right, we can only love people, since we have no way to completely wash away their pain. We can love them by being a good listener. We can love them through hugs and offering a shoulder to cry on. We can love them by sharing supportive and sympathetic words. And most of all, we can love them by just being there. My friend once told me "you can't save everyone." It was meant as a joke at the time, I took it hard, but now I realize how correct she was. I can't save everyone. But I can love everyone.

You can, too.

"1 universe, 9 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, and I had the privilege to meet you." ~ Unknown

I've always wanted to explain to my friends how much I appreciate them, but when I saw this for the first time, I wish I had thought to think of my chances of meeting them this way. I had learned not that long ago that every coincidence is a miracle, if you think about it. This quote just proves my point.

In English class junior year, we do a unit on Transcendentalism. Part of this unit is going "unplugged" for an entire week. This means no phone (except in emergencies), no TV, no computer (except for homework), no music, no nothing. That week was difficult for me, not so much because of the lack of TV or phone, but because I was in the process of writing a book (aka typing it) and had tons of inspiration but couldn't put it down because I needed what was on my computer for reference (by the last day, all of that inspiration had disappeared...of course). It was also difficult because music is what keeps me sane, to be honest, and without music, I felt scattered and without a constant. Even when the melody changes, having a tune always available whenever needed gave me peace of mind and sanity. 7 days without it was crazy for me, since music is also what I use to de-stress.

At the end of the week, we had to write a reflection essay. I had written something in my reflection, and it reminded me of this quote, and not only how privileged we are to have met the wonderful people we call our friends, but how small we are in such a large universe. Although I don't have the exact quotation anymore, it said something along the lines of this: It's amazing how big you feel and how small the world seems with technology. We are one person, in a town, in a city, in a state, in a country founded on freedom, on a continent, on a planet, in a single, enormous universe. Without technology, we are just one small piece of this universe.

In short: appreciate your friends. It was a miracle you even met them in the first place.

"Clarify your purpose." ~ Jack Canfield

The entire quote by Jack Canfield is, "Clarify your purpose. What is the why behind everything you do? When we know this in life or design it is very empowering and the path is clear."

We all have a purpose here on Earth. While there's a wide variety of theories and beliefs out there, I think we were each put here to drastically change at least one other person's life for the better. My reasoning may or may not be true, but this is what I've concluded after much thought. Yet, I am always open to hearing other's ideas of "why we are here." (What is yours? Share in comments!)

So, in my religion classes at school, we do a reflection for about twenty minutes at the beginning of each class on an article, video, or current event that the teacher provides. Recently, she showed us a video about the science behind and ways to combat procrastination. In my reflection, I wrote that the way I avoid procrastinating is by giving my self a reason to do each and every thing I do. That reason? I do everything directly or indirectly for the people I love, because I know that without each and every one of them, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Whenever I lack motivation to complete a task, I remind myself why I'm doing it, and that immediately puts me back on track. What's your reason/way to stay motivated?

Also, here is the link to that video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nBwfZZvjKo&category=&feature=edu_spotlight

"Write hard and clear about what hurts." ~ Ernest Hemingway

So, at the end of last year, one of my dear friends transferred schools. I knew (but didn't fully understand at the time) that it was for the better. I knew that I wouldn't get to see her as much. All I truly knew (and understood) at the time was that I couldn't bear to completely lose contact with her. I am fortunate. She and I still talk, she is happy, at peace, much better overall. And while I'd be lying if I didn't say I miss her every day I don't see her, I am now at peace and have come to accept that this transfer was the right decision...for her and everyone around her.

Below is something I wrote about her leaving school. She is one of my closest high school friends. When hard things like this happen to me, I turn to writing as a release. (I write in second person, "you" is me talking to myself.)

There was a point in time when a friend was about to leave you. The music swayed, she fell, and you fell, too. She fell away, fell out of love with the sisterhood you had built from scratch together. You fell down, into the traps of your mind when she left without a goodbye. You fell on your knees, down the stairs that carried both of you through so many laughs. She was bruised deeply by the illness coursing through her veins and by friendships that couldn't be rebuilt. You were bruised by the truth of the reality of her state of being, even though you could never get the whole truth out of her. Her mind was taxed a little too much, and that in turn taxed your heart. Final days were filled with tears of a truth that was too far gone to be changed back to the happy reality in which you once lived. You passed the hours without her by drowning out the screaming truth everyone heard but only you could not accept fully with the music that made visions of her returning swing a little too high to be possible. Words became everything to you, life had a new meaning, as did loss, and the sayings you repeated to yourself constantly were suddenly colored a bit differently, with a new light shed upon them. And every night from that point on, you painstakingly tried to push out the what-ifs of life without her by your side.

Just remember: Never give up on the friends, family, and loved ones that appear to be lost. If both of you want to maintain the good relationship, it will happen. Just be willing to put in the effort if you really want it. It will pay off.

"Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive." ~ Hafiz

Ok, so this is a video my friend sent me a while ago, and although I am lucky enough to not have been bullied, it is a video that has truly changed my outlook on bullying.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY

This is something else to try on the days when you feel like the world is against you: text the people you love with the question "What makes you wake up each day and keep going, even when the world is against you?" You might get some pretty emotional and inspiring replies. I did.

Never, ever give up on life.

"How would your life be different if you learned to let go of things that have already let go of you?" ~ Steve Maraboli

The entire quote by Steve Maraboli is this: "How would your life be different if you learned to let go of things that have already let go of you? From relationships long gone, to old grudges, to regrets, to all the "could've" and "should've," to the dead friendships you still hang on to... Free yourself from the burden of a past you cannot change."

We all have things that still burden us from our past, and that past might be yesterday, last week, or ten or more years ago. Some things never go away. Some things are harder to shake than others. Some we are open to share, and others we hold in the darkest alcoves of our minds. All of these things, though, have helped mold us into the beautiful human creation we are today.
I admit, there are things that have taken me longer than I'd have liked to get over. These things will never stop pestering us if we don't have the courage to say that we accept what has happened, and that often, the other party is happy and at peace. No, it's not easy. But the more we learn to move past the things that burden our shoulders, the more comfortable we will become with letting go. Emotions will always be involved. And while we cannot always control them, we can learn to appreciate them, take them as they are, and realize that they cannot control every aspect of our lives. If we let them take over us, they will. This is not to say we should push those weighty emotions away; rather, we need to learn how to release them. Reaching that milestone will bring an enormous wave of calm and peace to our minds and our hearts.

"Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick." ~ Bruce Lee

Ok, so I'm going to start this post with the logic.
One: there are certain situations in which you should stand up for yourself and for others. Don't let this advice/message/post/whatever-it's-called keep you from this when appropriate and/or needed.
Two: please do not go around punching and/or kicking other people/objects not meant to be punched and/or kicked. ;) (and I'm only saying this because I relieve stress this way, but I, too, need to maintain self-control)

Down to business. The truth is, life is going to throw things at you that will make you cry, make you frustrated, make you want to punch or kick something, make you stressed. And unfortunately, we have to deal with them. This fact of life does not mean that, in any way, we should ball the stress and frustration and sadness up inside of us and keep it there. All it will do is fester and grow into a burden that becomes unbearable to carry and eventually we feel like we're so trapped that there is no way of taking this enormous load off our shoulders and chest. Ranting and venting to people does help; it allows us to get things off our chest and out in the open so we are no longer keeping this force inside. Sometimes, doing this via email or text message can be more helpful if we think that saying what is on our mind aloud will make it seem to real to handle and out of our control.
In a previous post, I wrote "We all have our days, we all have our victories, and we all have our defeats. But victories and defeats aren't life, they are moments. We are life, and life is more than who we are." This is something to keep in mind on our bad days. Yes, those days. I get them too. But we need to remember that's meant to happen will happen. What defines us is not what cards we are dealt, but how we play them.
There was a technique I recommended to a friend to relieve some stress, and they reported back that it was quite effective. Yes, it includes kicking and punching, so I thought I'd share it with you:

Find a quiet (and preferably soundproof) room/spot. Then find a punching bag (like a martial arts one), a few pillows, a giant pad, or something big to punch and kick comfortably with a large amount of force. (If you are willing to do this in front of a friend, and a friend is willing to help you, he or she might hold one of those giant target pads martial artists use for kicking drills. Just be careful.) Start beating on the pad (generic name for all of these options) gently and slowly, gradually increasing your power and speed. Start out by quietly saying the things burdening your mind as you do this, then simultaneously increase power and speed and the volume of your voice, until you are completely letting out your anger and sadness and frustration and shouting everything that is on your mind, everything negative affecting your life. When you can do this no more, sit down, collapse to the floor if you need to, and let the negativity and burdens lift off of you. Just sit, and relax, and feel FREE for a few minutes, or however long you need.

I've been told this works, and have recommended it to multiple people. Just realize that releasing anger and burden in any way, shape, or form, does not mean we do not accept life; rather, it means we are dealing with it in a way that is helpful and beneficial to us. Don't be shy about releasing anger, because we all have it, whether we show it or not. Something is always nagging at us. Life is never completely worry and burden free. But don't let these negative things keep you from being the happy person who enjoys life that you want to be. Don't lose sight of joy. Don't lose touch with the world and people you love. Don't lose touch with yourself. Always make time for yourself, for your emotions, for your feelings, for all of the things you love and care about. You are supported, and you are loved.

And thank you Bruce Lee for affirming the truth of the need to release stress, while still accepting the gift of life as it is given to us.

"Train your mind to see the good in everything." ~ Unknown

Every year, my instructor asks her students to write at least two goals to achieve over the coming year. Often times, we receive a worksheet with two spaces: one for a goal as an instructor, and one for a goal as a student.
This year, the sheets were not passed out, but we were still asked to come up with two goals. One thing I have heard my instructor, as well as many others, repeat over and over again is that every student has something to offer, we just need to find it. This past year, I have made it my mission to find in every student a lesson to be learned, no matter their rank or age or how well I know them.
Some people teach us by their skills and smarts. We see their intelligence or technical skill and try to learn from their study tactics and attention to detail. Sometimes, we see in people their virtues, morals, and good traits. Humility, generosity, willingness, dedication, compassion, faithfulness, loyalty, and gentle humor are all examples of these qualities. On the contrary, occasionally we learn from people's mistakes, whether the person making the mistake learns the lesson at hand or not.
There is a second half to this. Although each person can teach us something, we need to be willing to open our eyes to the possibilities, and be willing to take the applicable lessons to heart. We must seriously consider whether the lesson will positively affect us, and if so, how we will implement it into our daily lives to better ourselves.
Ever since I have made this a goal of mine, I have found myself much happier overall. Although I cannot apply every good lesson I see to my life, those I can have, thus far, greatly improved my outlook on stress, have boosted my motivation, and have made me feel more confident in my decisions. I have become a better friend, student, leader, and instructor from the lessons I've picked up from so many people of every age and rank. This goal could honestly have fit under either category on the goal sheet, but I have strived to better myself in both areas of life with this goal.
"Train your mind to see the good in everything," as well as everyone.

Thank you to all of my fellow students and instructors. My life has been bettered because of you.

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me..." ~ Unknown

I think after looking at ourselves in the mirror every day, we have a tendency to only see our flaws because we have become used to the beautiful things about us. I wish I could give this gift to all of the people who struggle to see the beauty in themselves. I wish I could let them see how much they mean to me and the people around then; I wish they could see how much they have changed my life; I wish they could see how sad and how lost I, and so many others, would be without them there. Although we cannot truly give this gift to those around us, we can always try. This is an ideal for which to strive; to communicate to people their significance to us in this world, and to help them see their beauty in a new light. With this goal in mind, we can lift the self-confidence of those around us, and appreciate others for who they truly are.